As America goes out to make a surface level choice for its president, the safest thing you can do today is to stay home and not vote. Not voting is your right as an American. Indifference towards a decision process that is superficial at best is what your ancestors fought and died for. A jaded
Posts Tagged ‘election’:
Al Gore’s Sexy New Beard
Al Gore is pretending to not like the electoral college in an attempt to allow reporters to photograph his sexy new beard. Feigning a newfound interest in ending the system that denied him the presidency, Gore was quick to pose for photographers, letting them capture his beard from dramatic angles. Looking more like Ron Swanson
OUT: Rick Santorum
With heavy hearts, we bid farewell to our beloved Rick Santorum and his confused attitudes towards everything that America stands for. We wish him the best and hope that he can fill our lives with mirth and wonderment in 4 years when he nostalgically mistakes his small successes in the 2012 campaign for general interest
Former Top Bachmann Supporter Now Supports Paul
Like a rat jumping from a sinking ship, Kent Sorenson has left Michelle Bachmann’s campaign in favor of the far superior Ron Paul. Realizing he was supporting a woman and a pterodactyl, Sorenson hopped on the Paul bandwagon due to his points of “being awesome” and “not being a flying dinosaur.” A woman who’s only
OUT: Herman Cain
With his head held high, Herman Cain returns to the pizza kitchen to cook up his plan for 2016. Considering this race was nothing more than an elaborate ad for Godfather’s Pizza, Cain was rather successful. God bless.
Romney out of race for 2012 presidency
During his speech today, media darling and GOP “front runner”, Mitt Romney admitted “I am not your president.”
September 7th GOP Debate: Simplified
The following is a transcript of the Republican presidential debate on Sept. 7, 2011. The language has been simplified for express reading and all bullshit has been removed. I have attempted to simplify each piece down to the purest point. Each candidate will then be scored against himself, giving a completely accurate representation of political
State of the Race to the President of the States of the Republic
As the time to choose a new president grows near, it’s easy to get lost in the confusion of media. Since there is no monetary limit on political campaigns; television, print media, digital media, and your roadways, will soon be plastered with advertisements for the candidate who will make the corporations who paid for those




















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