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DEAD: Sherman Hemsley

This Jeffersons star is now movin’ on up to that deluxe apartment in the sky — this time for real.

DEAD: Rodney King

I guess he wasn’t a very good swimmer.

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DEAD: Yvette Wilson

I’m not sure if it’s worth writing a story on Tears of Time about this.

DEAD: Donna Summer

In a move to sell more records, Donna Summer is now dead.

DEAD: Vidal Sassoon

Why is it that the supposedly fashion forward people always look like twats who can’t dress themselves, and the people responsible for ridiculous hair styles have the most bland hair styles ever?

DEAD: Carroll Shelby

Legendary car designer, racer, and chicken farmer Carroll Shelby has died from death related reasons. Now Nicholas Cage can’t ruin any more of his cars.

DEAD: Adam Yauch

This Beastie Man has lost his Beastie Battle with Beastie Cancer.

DEAD: AIM

Published by in tech on March 13th, 2012

Despite our best attempts at last minute resuscitation, AIM has been pronounced dead by Gizmodo, at least unofficially. It seems that the former chat giant has just lost too many members to competing services like Facebook and Gchat. They will continue life support for the time being, but updated versions of the software have been

Ohio School Shooter Not That Bad A Shot After All

Initially only wounding five, the gunman from this week’s Ohio school shooting was looking like a failure. Fast forward 24 hours later, three are now dead, with the one more in critical condition. The media is clearly biased in trying to downplay the effectiveness of school shootings, which is ironic since the only real reason

DEAD: Whitney Houston

Apparently “always” only lasts until February 11, 2012.

DEAD: Don Cornelius

Don’t they TRAIN you that when you commit suicide, your SOUL won’t go to Heaven? If anything, he’s now on the Soul Train to Hell.

DEAD: Joe Paterno

Apparently God only hates you when you get caught…

DEAD: Sarah Burke

I only know you because you died.

DEAD: Etta James

It would be delightfully inappropriate if they played “At Last” at her funeral.

DEAD: Kim Jong Il III

We hardly new ye…

DEAD: Patrice O’Neal

I guess all of those fat jokes everyone made about him at the Roast of Charlie Sheen really got him down.

DEAD: Andy Rooney

If a 92 year old American institution with a 33 year run on weekly network television dies during surgery and he wasn’t a hip, young, trendy asshole, does anyone even notice?

Steve Jobs: Sociopath

Published by in tech on October 26th, 2011

Despite all of the fond memories, condolences, and blatant attempts at being relevant amongst their peers that flooded the internet and various other lesser media in the weeks since Steve Jobs died, most of it is completely unfounded. He made his career by stealing ideas from Intel, IBM, Xerox, and that was just in the

DEAD: Muammar Gadhafi

Saif Gadhafi and Mutassim Gadhafi have also also been slaughtered. Libyan revolutionary forces plan to drag the corpses through the streets.

Steve Jobs: Frozen In Time

It’s hard to believe that Steve Jobs is dead. I mean he was rich, really rich. He could have bought any number of replacement organs and developed his own doctors to implant them if he wanted. Jobs obviously did not have death to fear, so then what happened to him? It’s pretty obvious at this

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