The answer is no — never bring children to any movie, ever.
Home » Archive for category "politics"
Archive for the ‘ifeaturepolitics’ Category:
Scorsese + Clinton + HBO = Something Your Liberal Co-Workers Will Discuss Loudly
Legendary filmmaker Martin Scorsese is partnering with HBO to produce and direct a documentary about Bill Clinton with the former president’s full support and assistance. The program is expected to be similar to last year’s 41 which chronicled the presidency of George H. W. Bush. As to be expected from HBO and Bill Clinton, the
Comments Off
Obama Wins, The Machine Keeps on Spinning
After you had no effect whatsoever on the election, Obama has retained the keys to the kingdom for another 4 years, and Mitt Romney’s carcass has been dragged through the streets of Washington DC in ritualistic celebration. All of the praying that religious conservatives did had absolutely no effect. All of the trendy social media
Comments Off
Don’t Vote — Stay Home
As America goes out to make a surface level choice for its president, the safest thing you can do today is to stay home and not vote. Not voting is your right as an American. Indifference towards a decision process that is superficial at best is what your ancestors fought and died for. A jaded
Comments Off
“Celebrity” Death Recap – September 2012
Published by
D-Sane in Celebrity Death, Culture, faith, movies, music, politics, tv on October 2nd, 2012
D-Sane in Celebrity Death, Culture, faith, movies, music, politics, tv on October 2nd, 2012Here at Tears of Time, we often report on celebrity deaths but things are getting ridiculous – they just keep dropping like flies. These celebrities are dying so fast that we can’t keep up with all of them. Either that or we’ve never heard of them, so their celebrity status is called into question. Rather
Comments Off
Al Gore’s Sexy New Beard
Al Gore is pretending to not like the electoral college in an attempt to allow reporters to photograph his sexy new beard. Feigning a newfound interest in ending the system that denied him the presidency, Gore was quick to pose for photographers, letting them capture his beard from dramatic angles. Looking more like Ron Swanson
Comments Off
Now Is The Time To Shut Up About Healthcare
Yesterday the Supreme Court of the Pokemon Multiverse decided that some new laws regarding healthcare were constitutional. Regardless of your personal opinions, the system that Americans have agreed to operate under has been swayed in one direction and now it’s time to shut up and live with it. Let’s not keep this issue going for
Comments Off
Individual Flights to Space, Now Starting at $3000*
*Offer valid for dead individuals only. Of the many companies hoping to strike it rich up in the blackness of space, SpaceX is firing the ashes of 308 people outside of our atmosphere. The plan is to have these ashes orbit the Earth for a year and ultimately return to Earth with the intentions of
Comments Off
OUT: Newt Gingrich
In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Newt Gingrich has decided to suspend his book tour. To tell the truth, we honestly forgot this guy was even running. So now it’s officially a 2-man race as Paul seems to be in it for the long haul and Romney/Obama are just two sides of the
Comments Off
OUT: Rick Santorum
With heavy hearts, we bid farewell to our beloved Rick Santorum and his confused attitudes towards everything that America stands for. We wish him the best and hope that he can fill our lives with mirth and wonderment in 4 years when he nostalgically mistakes his small successes in the 2012 campaign for general interest
Comments Off
Today’s Bullshit: This Writer Should Be Pun-ished
I don’t care who this person is, how respected they are in the journalism industry, what they were writing about, or how relevant this story is to the future of the free world: when you write terrible puns in your headlines, you deserve to be pun-ished. The pun in my headline is only there because
Comments Off
DEAD: Two Reporters
Published by
D-Sane in Breaking News, Celebrity Death, politics, This Week Around The World on February 22nd, 2012
D-Sane in Breaking News, Celebrity Death, politics, This Week Around The World on February 22nd, 2012Two reporters have died in Syria because there’s some kind of fighting going on there or something. One of them wore a sweet eye patch just like Big Boss — the other was French. Who cares about them? About 65 people also died there, but these two get the headlines because they made it their
Comments Off
CNN North Florida GOP Debate Drinking Game
Join us tonight at 8pm eastern to drink away the sorrows implied in our nation’s self destruction, with the Tears of Time CNN & University of North Florida GOP Debate Drinking Game. Complete list of rules after the break.
Comments Off
Newt Gingrich: The Mind of a Child
As Newt Gingrich rises in the polls, so do attacks on his political views. As attacks on Gingrich increase, Gingrich’s attacks on his attackers increase. While his slams against democrats gain him popularity within the republican party, what he fails to realize is that the country is unfortunately not inhabited entirely by republicans.
Deep Wing Discussess: The State of the Union Address
Welcome to the first official Deep Wing discussion. Deep Wing is live coverage of a topic by several Tears of Time Editors, giving you the deepest insights from the broadest range of wings. We will begin posting regarding the State of the Union Address around 8:45 PM Eastern, 7:45 PM CST. Hit refresh every few
Comments Off
Tonight: Deep Wing Discusses “The State of the Union Address”
Tonight at 9 PM Eastern/8 PM Central (and you can do the math to figure out whatever other time zone you’re in), the “President” will be addressing the union with information about its current status. Most of you reading this probably had no idea this was evening happening tonight. Tears of Time will be Deep
Comments Off
DEAD: South Carolina Voters
In a ‘stunning’ turn of events, hundreds of recently deceased voters rose from the grave to vote in ‘recent’ South Carolina elections. Few details are available at this time. Stay tuned for updates.
Comments Off
Media Bias and the Boneheaded Establishment Attempt to Halt the Progress of Ron Paul
According to the bean counters at the Pew Research Center, if Ron Paul went 3rd party he would split the Repiblican vote. This information was skewed by USA Today as they are attempting to trick people into not voting for Ron Paul. They’re presenting the story as “a vote for a 3rd party will ensure
Comments Off
The Fuck is Up W/ The Internet Today?
BoarbroThe fuck, man? What’s wrong with the internet? Every site I go to is taken over by black bars and shit about Congress. The fuck’s a Congress? I don’t even get it. Shit man, I can’t even Google for some pics of tittayz without all of this censorshit on my screen.
The Internet On Strike
Published by
Roostex in 2012, books, games, movies, music, politics, records, tech, tv on January 18th, 2012
Roostex in 2012, books, games, movies, music, politics, records, tech, tv on January 18th, 2012Almost the entire internet will shut down in protest of the SOPA and PIPA bills currently in congress today, most from the hours of 8am to 8pm. Wikipedia feels so strongly about this that they have decided to shut down the English version of the site for a full 24 hours. Since the majority of
Comments Off
The Question
Loading ...The Most Recent Reviews
Review: Louie by Roostex 07/07/2012
Format: Television Starring: Louis C.K. Network: FX I've been hearing great things about the show Louie, and since the stand up of Louis C.K. is usually pretty good, I decided to see what all the hype was about. Will Louie live up to...
Review: Magic Mike by EAD Kate 06/29/2012
Format: Film Starring: Channing Tatum Directed by: Steven Soderbergh I didn't really know what I expected to see when I went to the theater for the midnight showing of Magic Mike. The lobby was crammed with 40-something housewives all charged up cause they...
Review: Battleship by EAD Kate 05/29/2012
Title: Battleship Starring: Liam Neeson and some other people Based On: A god damn board game Hot guy. Explosion. Explosion. Coke Zero™. Hot guy. Explosion. Rihanna. Explosion. Explosion. Bigger explosion. Awesome explosion. Subway™. Coke Zero™. Massive explosion. Explosion. Explosion. Flag. I loved...
The Links to Success
The Credits
Imagined by D-Stex Crew
Ticker: TTOTC
Powered by WordPress
Original Theme by CyberChimps