Reacting to the Newtown, CT mass murder debacle, radio stations nationwide have pulled Ke$ha’s Die Young song because apparently it advocates dying young, and many young people died last Friday so people don’t like to be reminded of that constantly in the media. Except of course when the news media won’t shut up about it.
Your Brain Is Useful, At Last.
Archive for the ‘ifeatureBreaking News’ Category:
In a barely fucking audible clip that was obscured by an accent, Tom Hanks said “fuck” on live TV. Because no one has ever heard that fucking word before, this created a huge fucking controversy for which the actor was immediately sorry, despite the fact that the clip I linked to includes a warning that
Jesus Horatio Christ — Bynes Baby is at it again. The media is preporting all kinds of ludicrous allegations these days about my girl Amanda B. and I’m sick of it. Now they’re saying she stripped down to her bra in the middle of a crowded gym and her entourage is jumping ship. Wow, people,
Not content to let the younger generation of one-note celebrity drug addicts get all of the spotlight, Fiona Apple has stepped up her game by getting arrested for possession of hash in Sierra Blanca, TX. It’s a little sad because, despite the fact that I’ve lived in Texas my whole life, I’ve never even heard
BYNES WATCH 2012 is heating up, bros. After all kinds of media bias and biggotry against drinkers who also like to be drivers, shots have been fired at the Bynescycle by professional crack whore LINDSAY LOHAN in a recent Twitter post that seems to indicate some bitter ribaldry between the two adult child actresses. Lohan,
What up bros, I got some fresh deats about my home girl AMANDA BYNES and her troubles with the law. After getting her license suspended on some trumped up charges, Amanda Baby just had to go on a little joy ride to calm her nerves. You know how it is, dudes — hop in the
Everyone is abuzz wondering what the new iPhone 5 will be like in anticipation of tomorrow’s announcement, but you can read about the features early in this Tears of Time exclusive. Through our anonymous sources inside of Apple, we have been alerted to highly detailed specifications of the iPhone 5. We have a deep understanding
Not to be outdone by the Lionfather, Lil Wayne announced yesterday that he is also going to stop rapping. Wayne’s announcement was slightly more ambiguous though, leading many to believe that this is just a temporary pause on his rap activities while he pursues his other passion, which is apparently skateboarding. Because that’s what’s hot
Word on the street is that 620 million people in India are without power today because of 3 power grid failures. That’s double the population of the United States and only about half of India’s total population. India’s Prime Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde says, “everyone overdraws from the grid.” Smooth move, Everyone. Might this overdrawing
So like apparently some dude just ran up in a movie theater that was screening The Dark Knight Rises and shot up the place. Not cool, bro. So not cool. Now my mom won’t let me go see the movie with my buds even though they caught the guy and he doesn’t even live in
We’ve received an exclusive press release from director Christopher Nolan regarding his upcoming film, The Dark Knight Rises. In it, he details some of the specific of the plot along with how he plans to wrap up such a beloved series of films in a way that will be satisfying for the fans.
Lonesome George, the last known living Galapagos tortoise of the Pinta Island subspecies took a trip to Davy Jones’ locker. He was the last of his subspecies, which means they are officially extinct. Time to put another notch on your belt, industrialists!
In the days following the big press conferences at E3 this year, we’re finally able to make a determination about who won the show, but first some analysis.
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In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Newt Gingrich has decided to suspend his book tour. To tell the truth, we honestly forgot this guy was even running. So now it’s officially a 2-man race as Paul seems to be in it for the long haul and Romney/Obama are just two sides of the
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it’s April Fool’s Day today! It’s time to post outright lies and claim that they are jokes. Also, we’re updating our front page to something that is not our normal front page. Hilarious. Who is dead? Every major celebrity! Even the ones that you have forgotten about are
David Peck must face God’s wrath for trying to remain twelve years old for over twelve years.
Initially only wounding five, the gunman from this week’s Ohio school shooting was looking like a failure. Fast forward 24 hours later, three are now dead, with the one more in critical condition. The media is clearly biased in trying to downplay the effectiveness of school shootings, which is ironic since the only real reason
Apparently “always” only lasts until February 11, 2012.