BYNES WATCH 2012 is heating up, bros. After all kinds of media bias and biggotry against drinkers who also like to be drivers, shots have been fired at the Bynescycle by professional crack whore LINDSAY LOHAN in a recent Twitter post that seems to indicate some bitter ribaldry between the two adult child actresses. Lohan, ever more desperate to be the talk of the town, has claimed that Bynesee’s been getting the easy treatment, unlike herself who got railed by the media for being a hoe-bag. Fuck you, bitch. Well, that might be true LiLo, but my girl Amanda is A) innocent and B) nolo contendere and C) she will do her time without complaining if she has to, like a good American.
A lot of comparisons have been made by the media lately, saying A-Bynes is the new LiLo, but I just don’t get it. They couldn’t be more different from one another! One of them got their start working for a kids’ network, then popped out some tits and the world became moderately interested in her, only to fall out of the spotlight because childhood actresses are really not very talented, and the other was Michelle Trachtenburg.
Lohan must be silenced — it’s just as simple as that. Her Twitter probably needs to be shut down for her own good before she starts “accidentally” sending out mass tweets of her tits like that chick from the News Room with the fucked up looking baby-head. Seriously, have you seen that thing? Why is that girl famous?
If xXxLindsayxXx can’t shut her trap about A Man Duh, I will shut it up for her, and that’s a promise. And as a special note to her lawyers when they read this, please note that this is not a confession or an admission of guilt, it’s merely a record of how I am going to punch Lindsay Lohan in the mouth.