It should go without saying that a cable TV show based off of a bad movie shouldn’t exist, but in their infinite trial and error approach to producing television shows, the executives at the FX network have given Charlie Sheen one last desperate shot at relevancy with the premiere of tonight’s new show Anger Management. Yes, it’s officially canon of the Adam Sandler/Jack Nicholson film from a few about a decade ago. And it will be terrible.

Charlie Sheen Anger Management (as they are branding this show to emphasize the return to TV of last year’s beaten, dead horse) will feature Sheen in the Jack Nicholson role of an unorthodox psychiatrist with anger management issues of his own. I haven’t seen Sandler/Nicholson source material, but I’m sure that if you have seen it, you will undoubtedly know the plot of every episode — Charlie Sheen does wacky things and yells at people. To me, the only reason this show exists is because the producers of the film (who are now the producers of the show) sat on the “intellectual” property forever with no agenda, only to be “inspired” to dredge it back into existence nearly 10 years later after the entire world made ever Tiger Blood joke you can imagine. Now that Sheen is probably bankrupt, he’s looking for anything that will put him back on top. Unless we actively take a stand against it, this show probably will be it.

A lucrative syndication deal has been orchestrated which will see FX ordering 90 episodes based on the success of the first 10. This is the same deal that Tyler Perry gets standard on all of his film-to-TV abortions. If the ratings are good enough for 10 episodes, 90 additional rotting pieces of shit will spew out of Charlie Sheen’s asshole and will be put on display for the world. No. No no no no no. No.

For comparison, most network TV shows get renewed for 22-25 episodes every season and most FX shows only get about 12-15 episodes per season. This would mean that between 4 and 7 seasons worth of this drivel would exist simply because America forgot to change the channel between a cable broadcast of Diehard With A Vengeance and FX’s good programs. Most shows are lucky to get 7 season, and almost every show is tired of itself by about season 5. Sheen’s last piece of shit, 2.5 Men did go for 8 seasons before he was fired, but that’s mostly because the people working at CBS don’t know when to quit (hint, with Two and a Half Men, quitting time was after the title of the show was announced).

We have to band together and collectively end this show while we still can and our only weapon is our remote control. The only way to send FX a clear message that we aren’t interested in Sheen on TV or the Anger Management IP is to not watch any of the first 10 episodes. Be sure to tune in to FX tonight after Anger Management to catch new episodes of Wilfred and Louie though. This will indicate to the executives at FX that we like some of their programming, as long as it’s not shit. Does anyone remember Testees? No? That’s what I thought. Let’s end this show before we have another Whitney on our hands.