Format: Video Game
Style: First Person Shooter
Publisher: Activision

The original GoldenEye on the Nintendo 64 stands alongside such games as Doom as one of the originators of the first person shooter craze. Despite being a licensed title, it was one of the truly must-own games for the N64 and along with Mariokart 64, it became one of the main reasons for a person to have more than one controller. Despite being on the inferior Nintendo 64, the graphics were capable of rendering images that actually looked like their film counterparts. For years, fans of the game asked for an HD port to make it’s way to modern consoles, and with Reloaded, it finally has. Or so one might think based on its title.

See, Reloaded doesn’t do much to retain any of the trademarks of the original GoldenEye. Pierce Brosnan’s likeness has been replaced by the likeness of Daniel Craig. All of the other characters in the game have been altered to look more modern, and all of the settings of the levels have been completely replaced with modern maps (except for the very beginning part of the first level). Bond even has a cell phone that he uses to hack computers or unlock doors, which wasn’t even present in the film. The updated game doesn’t play anything like the original either, most likely due to antiquated controls on a ridiculous looking controller. Now it plays exactly like Call of Duty, probably because Activision got their filthy hands on this property. More hallmarks of the current trends in 1st person shooters include QTEs, instant deaths, driving sequences, and first person cut scenes that remove player control and are unskippable.

What we have here is an HD remake of GoldenEye in name only. It features James Bond style music and voice acting from Judi Dench and Daniel Craig, and the story hits some of the same beats as the film, but nothing else is the same. The things that gamers loved about the original game have been stripped away. If the Call of Duty series can be assumed to be a direct descendant of the GoldenEye/Doom/Turok days of first person shooting, GoldenEye 007: Reloaded can be seen as a grandchild raping their grandmother, then the grandmother giving birth to the mutant spawn of that rape. While it plays as a competent FPS, none of the original game’s charm is present. Activision has removed what was once great about a classic IP and turned it into just another Call of Duty clone. Fans of the original should stay clear of this game.

In terms of multiplayer, Reloaded offers online and local, but I was unable to play either version. I can’t force myself to invite over a friend to play with me, so local is out, and at the time of this writing, no one is playing the game online. Probably because no one bought it or they’ve shifted back to their Call of Dutys.

GoldenEye 007: Reloaded is nothing more than a shallow attempt by money grubbing businessmen to capitalize on the current trend of HD re-releases. It was something to hold Call of Duty fans over between releases, but it is a complete shame that this game was made and branded with the GoldenEye seal of approval to try and tickle the nostalgia boner of young men with disposable income.

3/10 (This game should have been released as Call of Duty: GoldenEye – yes, it seriously is that different from the source material and that similar to a generic Call of Duty game)