Like advertisements? Get ready to enjoy all of your favorite ads, custom tailored to an ongoing 5-year study of your habits as Facebook will begin integrating advertisements right into your Newsfeed. Now with eerie precision, advertisers will be able to directly target your interests based on the history of things you like, mention, link to, share, and upload pictures of.

Sure, users who aren’t running Ad Block Plus have been seeing advertisements on the right side of their Facebook pages for years, but now Facebook is attempting to generate more ad revenue for itself by implementing these ads right into the part of their site that people actually look at. What’s worse is that these ads (though “clearly marked”) will be ultimately indistinguishable from normal content to the more gullible among Facebook’s users.

Claims by Facebook representatives of “slow integration” are meaningless in the modern era. What is slow anymore with massive revolutions to website layouts happening on a continual basis? If on January 1st, 2012, all 600 million Facebook users get 1 advertisement in their feed, by January 1st, 2013, you know that number will be up to 50 ads per day if not more. Where do the ads stop? Wasn’t this what drove people away from Myspace?

And of course with the new Facebook Timeline, it’s only a matter of time before some ad rep at Coca-Cola decides that he wants to pay Facebook a few billion dollars to show up on your user page, integrated seamlessly into your personal information for all of your friends to see. You’re holding a picture of a Coke? “Why not Enjoy Coke®?” will no doubt be appearing next to the picture. Enjoy Hell®!

You have two of the millions of eyeballs that are being sold without your permission to fat cat corporations at your own inconvenience. This world is burning and it’s time for your tears. Santa Packs are coming.