The most unfunny new show on TV this season is without a doubt Whitney. You’ve heard us talk before about this show in our recent look at new TV for the fall, but I think the fact that the show is still on the air is a testament to the need for me to rip into it.

Based on a fictionalized persona of the star Whitney Cummings, Whitney is an exercise in narcissism that the American public simply can’t get behind. The show’s “humor” and “appeal” can only be found interesting to Cummings herself and possibly to a minority of people in the group known as “TV Executives Who Want to Cum On Whitney Cummings.” This group also featured a few CBS executives who also greenlit Cummings’ other horrible show 2 Broke Girls this year, possibly with the understanding that she’d be playing one of the characters on that show rather than acting only as a creator and producer.

Full disclosure: having only borne witness to the atrocious promos for Whitney, I can’t be an accurate assessor of the show’s true merits. In fact, you might say I am judging a book by it’s cover. But I think that the critical indifference of the show (50 out of 100 on Metacritic) as well as the lukewarm ratings it received will serve as better indicators of the show’s appeal than anything I can glean from the advertisements. It may seem that the only arrow left in Cummings’ quiver is the one marked “Suck All the Dicks to Avoid Cancellation.”

Cummings herself has no natural talent with comedic delivery. She might be the “funny” girl at a party that everyone is laughing at because they’re trying to get her drunk enough to sleep with, but a comedian she is not. Her resumé appears to be composed of shitty comedy shows that no one cares about and episodes of Last Call with Carson Daily (which in all fairness can’t even be classified as a comedy show). Who would allow a person with such a weak pedigree one show, let alone two? This escapes me.

No one wants to see a woman dance around and do weird voices. People don’t put up with that nonsense. The only people that will put up with that nonsense are people who know they’re soon going to fuck the nonsense out of those women. Just because Cummings saw a few of Jim Carey’s old stand up routines and the first 15 minutes of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective does not make her a comedian.

I only hope that the executives at CBS and NBC are getting their knobs polished nightly by Whitney Cummings for forcing America to have to endure the utter drivel that is spewing forth from the mind of that wretched creature. Her next role after Whitney‘s ultimate cancellation will be starring in a bukkake film.