D-SaneOur police force is broken. Any degenerate asshole with enough time to kill can become a police officer in a few short weeks of training, passing only the most minimal challenges of physical strength and mental ability. Usually, the people going out for these jobs are the bottom of the barrel scum of America who have been shitted on their whole lives by other people and are just aching for the mildest degree of power with which to push back. Most of them aren’t much better than the lawbreakers they are arresting, having only a passing interest in the criminal justice system due to its decent government paycheck as a reward for minimal effort. Why are we letting these people collect our tax dollars only to have them act like entitled assholes to our faces? All they do is pull us over for speeding and other bullshit laws just to justify their own salaries. The police force should be privatized.
First of all, I’m not suggesting that we live in lawless anarchy and I very much respect the idea of a police force protecting myself and my belongings. By the mere idea of a policeman being summoned in minutes, crime has had a bite taken out of it. We know we are relatively safe with police being in place and I am glad they are here so that I don’t have to worry about my safety all the time.
Rather, I am envisioning a world where police have to actively work for their living. A world where cops are employees of cop companies and they are all treated like agents of a larger idea of what a cop can be. Right now if I buy a car and I’m dissatisfied with my salesman, I can speak to another at the same company. If I hate the franchise but still like the car, I can deal with another dealer. And if I am sick of driving a specific brand of car, I can go buy another brand entirely. But at the end of the day, I am still buying a car and each person in this system has to compete with each other for my money in order to make a living. This idea should be extended to the police.
A few companies could be in charge of stationing an officer on every corner to prevent crime while other companies could be in charge of employing detectives who would actively be sought out by people in need of solving a mystery. If some one gets raped, hire the rape police. You’d want several different companies controlling each aspect of the police to foster an environment of competition between each of them. They would actively strive to be the best and beat out their competition or they’d get fired (or the company would go under if their employees sat around all day eating donuts). Additionally, you’d see specializations develop naturally based on a person’s own inherit ability to solve or prevent a specific type of crime. Just as I know I can buy a Jeep to have a dependable off-road vehicle, I can go see the detectives at Murders R Us, knowing the detectives within are the specialists in solving murder crimes.
Rather than taxing people constantly to pay for these services in our current system, the privatized police would be paid only when a job is completed to the satisfaction of a citizen. If the job is done piss poor, these police will get bad reviews and they will be less likely to be approached for future jobs. They’ll also be more likely to lose their jobs as cops. Yet again, this will foster an environment of competition between police and companies of police. You’ll see the best rated police officers being the highest decorated, most rewarded, and most sought after in the country, while traffic police who waste their time writing tickets for parking violations will soon be out of jobs. And of course the citizen requiring the job would have to pay for these services out of pocket, but this would not bankrupt anyone because their pockets would be lined with all of the money they saved by not being taxed for unnecessary police forces.
This system would eliminate government waste through paying the salaries of ticket writing assholes. Traffic cops who are sitting in blind spots waiting to catch speeding drivers would not have to catch a quota of speeders to justify their salaries for sitting in those blind spots all day. If people on the roadways die in a traffic accident, that’s their own fault. Shouldn’t have been driving that fast. But maybe a little fast is OK. We don’t need traffic Nazis keeping us in check 100% of the time, we just need people to exercise a mild degree of self control and restraint.
If there’s an accident on the highways, send an ambulance and possibly a fire truck if needed. No need for a police investigation of the incident unless one of the surviving relatives asks for one and pays for it out of their own pocket (though in the event of a drinking and driving head on collision where both parties are killed, this information can be deduced by anyone with a pulse who is looking at the scene). The victim’s family can sue the family of the other driver using their private lawyer.
Give private police the ability to detain criminals. We’d need to keep the really dangerous people locked up after all. Detain them in private prisons (we already have these). Rather than giving them free time or the ability to watch TV, or lift weights, put them in sweatshops and force them to make products. This would cause their time spent locked away to be functional and have purpose for the world. We used to have chain gangs build our roads. If Nike ran a prison, each prisoner would be forced to pay his own prison bills by making a certain number of Nike shoes before he is released. He wouldn’t be paid in money for this service, but in room and board during his stay at Nike Prison. After he has paid his debt to Nike, he can be released, or he can be executed if he refused to cooperate. Think that’s harsh? Maybe there’d be less crime if the penalties for crime were harsher.
Obviously the courts would have to be in place to prevent the private police from running rampant, and our government could possibly still handle this. I’ll leave it up to some smarter individual than I to suggest a viable option for privatizing the judicial system.
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Imagined by D-Stex Crew
So what happens when everyone is driving 100+MPH in cars, and don’t have the ability to safely do so? What about when people are parking on sidewalks? And does it not create a biased, for a cop investigating a rape, to have a conviction come out of it? Because if he doesn’t the client gets upset and spreads bad word about them. What happens when your retarded ass is being robbed, you call the cops, but have no money on you? Guess you get robbed, raped, and murdered. Don’t worry, surely your parents will pay to have it all looked into. There are private detectives anyways.
Enforcement of the law is the responsibility of the government coming up with the laws. You can hire investigators if a drunk driver runs over a family member. You can hire investigators for murders.
What are low income neighborhoods going to do when they can’t afford a police officer? Or when that corporation pulls what every major cellphone company does, and says that it is not fiscally sound to support service in certain areas? Stop whining about whatever speeding ticket you got and learn that 80mph will only make less than a couple minutes difference on any intercity commute.
Typical suburban kid who grows up thinking the world should cater to his every desire, and that if he doesn’t like something, it should disappear in it’s entirety.
First of all, 100mph really isn’t that fast. Especially considering the standards cars must meet presently. Faster speed limits don’t mean 100mph through a city. The problem everyone seems to have with self governing is that you all assume that if something isn’t illegal the mass of people will immediately go out and do it. That’s outrageous. If we suddenly made poisoning yourself legal (yes it’s currently illegal) you’re assuming everyone will immediately poison themselves.
Think about what you’re saying man. Do you really have such little faith in your own humanity that you are afraid that you can’t control yourself without the guidelines of others being forced upon you?
Typical inner-city kid who grows up thinking the world needs strict rules or all hell will break lose.
No, I’m operating from experience driving in this city. People do 80+, during heavy traffic, and horrible driving conditions. That’s WITH police on duty. People aren’t going to poison themselves, because it’s easy to see that it is all downside. I’ts also illegal to milk someone else’s cow. Gonna grab a pail if they change that?
You know what most people will do though, “Oh derp! The derping speed limit is infinity! That means I can get to work in five seconds now!” BAM, some little kid is run over. Too bad mommy and daddy can’t afford the cost of tracking your retarded ass down, because all their money went to finding the guy who broke into their house last week.
Know why we pay taxes? It makes it collectively easier to pay for law enforcement and other services. Any idea how much you’d be charged, if they were doing so, solely on an “as needed” basis? What’s the pricetag for hours and hours of work to track down a murderer? Do you include incarceration fees? Material spent? Hazards and risk involved? What’s the price of tracking down a homicidal maniac, with an automatic rifle and bi-polar disorder? Even if you didn’t pay a cent to taxes in a year, there is no way you would have enough saved to cover any of those expenses.
Also, it helps me a lot that you already made my point for me.
” I don’t understand how the Motor Vehicle Association allows such terrible drivers on the road. It’s extremely dangerous to be allowing such morons to drive such big, dangerous, valuable, mechanical marvels out and about with the people who know what they’re doing. Furthermore, it’s a slap in the face to those of us who know how to operate such machines.”
I’m tired of having to cater to the lowest common denominator, in this case poor drivers. Everyone has to suffer traveling at lower speeds because they just let anyone on the road who can afford it. Time = Money, so having to drive slower equates to a hidden tax.
I would be fine paying taxes if the money was used properly, but it’s all wasted on paying police that we wouldn’t need in the first place. Our current system employs officers who have to give out tickets to have enough revenue to get paid. This is not the intent for having police. Instead of taking taxes from everyone and giving us all shitty protection, let us choose.
The government does nothing more than prevent natural selection from taking its course. We’re advancing forward with smarter people, but since we aren’t getting rid of the dumber people who would have originally died out, they are continuing to breed dumber and dumber children at an even faster rate. There was a time when there was no government and humans still survived. Just because you need someone else to guide your life and tell you what’s right and what’s wrong, doesn’t mean that everyone needs that same help. Most of us just want to be left alone, why must you keep forcing your ideas on us?
What kind of training as a driver do you have to make a claim that you wouldn’t be lumped into the bottom percentile?
You say you need no government, but then complain that less than qualified people are allowed on the road ways. Who is going to keep those people off the road, if there is no one to enforce it? Who is actually going to build roads , if there is no government? I doubt you have enough Legos to accomplish it, maybe.
Driving over 60-70mph is useless. Higher speeds are proven to cause accidents. Not only that but, regardless of the vehicle, you get worse MPG and higher emissions. On any daily commute you might save 3 minutes, maximum by being able to speed. Congestion is the major cause of delays and congestion comes from inefficient traffic controls and selfish driving. When fast moving traffic meets slow moving traffic there is going to be a problem. Most major inter-states and business loops have minimum speed limits too. If people would learn that the right lane is for exiting and merging traffic, the middle lane for slower traffic, and the far lane for express traffic, you would see a major decrease in traffic times.
Just why would you be someone left if natural selection was the law of the land? Are you trained in any type of self defense? Guns don’t equalize everything, especially if you don’t know how to use one. Judging by your face fat, you’d most likely go in the first wave. This “inner-city” kid here grew up in a very small town, has rode on horse back to the Canadian border and back, and has had encounters with big game. I’ve taken survival courses, stunt driving courses, was legally allowed to drive at 14, and have owned a firearm since I was 12. You’re an elitist who has delusions that he is on some far superior mental plane than everyone else. Really, you’re just another average Joe, sitting on the curve, at best. You get upset with concepts you don’t understand or disagree with, and then want them to disappear. This is actually a marker for a low IQ.
The things wrong with our government are much further reaching than simply our police policies. Tickets provide revenue, at the expense of people who can’t follow simple rules, which actually lessens the load taxpayers have to pay. Your theories are nothing more than a temper tantrum, thrown by an ignorant child, who can’t seem to understand the concept of “the greater good”. You are what’s wrong with society today.
No one is forcing anything upon you. You posted you thoughts on the internet, an area with no boundaries. If you can’t handle counter-opinions, then close your site or don’t publish anything.
“Education is the most powerful weapon which we can use to change the world.”
I’m done with your childish behaviors. Have a nice day.
“If people would learn that the right lane is for exiting and merging traffic, the middle lane for slower traffic, and the far lane for express traffic, you would see a major decrease in traffic times.”
That’s the point. These people don’t belong on the road. Instead of ticketing the people driving too fast, get rid of the ones going too slow.
I never said that I was amazing, or that I was above anyone. I would gladly submit to a much harder driving test if it meant less idiots on the road. If I failed then I would take public transportation. You on the other hand have turned this into bragging about yourself for some reason.
You’re posting your thoughts on someone else’s site, so take your own advice. If you can’t handle that your ideals will be contended, then don’t post on a site that obviously disagrees with you.
Ticketing people who “can’t follow simple rules” is ridiculous. Who comes up with these rules? If the majority of people voted to reduce speed limits by 50% then by your argument no one should argue and everyone should blindly accept what they are told.
You can’t seem to think outside of whats already presented to you. This is actually the marker for a low IQ.
“Education is the most powerful weapon which we can use to change the world.”
I’m trying to educate people that government is not the answer.