Shoot ‘Em Up
Director: Michael Davis
Genre: Over the Top, Fantasy Gun-Porn Comedy

Let’s start this off right. Shoot ‘Em Up is not meant to be taken seriously. If you think it is meant to be taken seriously, you’re watching the movie wrong. In the first 5 minutes of the film, Clive Owen uses a gun to cut a baby’s umbilical cord. There is no deep meaning to be found in this movie, it is simply an over the top action movie that is so effective in its delivery that it’s hilarious. The idea is to laugh at the way Clive Owen uses guns in the most absurd ways possible and of course, you can’t forget the one liners.

The film follows Smith (Owen) a mysterious individual who probably was in the British special ops or equivalent combat division but is now basically a homeless person just trying to eat carrots. He gets sucked into gun fight after gun fight in order to protect a baby from Paul Giamati and he enlists the help of a prostitute played by Monica Bellucci. Also, there’s carrots. That’s all the plot you need.

Throughout the course of the 86 minute runtime, you will be delighted by the off the wall, one-in-a-billion shooting taking place that feels at times more like a ballet or a puppet show than an action movie. The name of the game here is Outlandishness. At no point is this film supposed to depict things that could actually happen, much to the chagrin of many of the potential audience members who may have wanted to see a more serious action movie. You know what I have to say to that? Eat a dick. Shot ‘Em Up isn’t an action movie. It’s a comedy with action in it. It’s more of a parody of the action genre than anything else, though it leans a little more towards the action side of things than say a parody movie like Hot Fuzz.

If you haven’t seen this movie already, track it down and watch it now. If you haven’t seen it in a few years, watch it again.

Rating: A++ (This film is the pinnacle of what a film can be.)